I look back over my life and note how eminent I was for running from places where I was hurt. Every time I got my heart broke, rather is was self-inflicted or not, I would run. I wanted to move and start over. And I did just that….only to run into more pain. I ran from any or all that hurt me. I can admit this now – I WAS SO IMMATURE! I didn’t take the time to acknowledge that all I was doing was creating chains that were shackled to my feet. I didn’t take the time to realize that I was only stacking more pain up in my heart. My body was on the run by my mind and heart was still attached to these painful things. Running was never getting rid of the problems I was having. I was like a little dump truck hauling pain from place to place, only I was just making bigger piles! These piles were filling up my heart and mind with the wrong stuff. I transferred bitterness and insecurity into many friendships and relationships which caused them to fail. I was quick to blame the other person and didn’t want to admit that it was I who had issues. I had a fear of others talking down on me because of my own insecurities; but truthfully, some people could have care less about me! That is how PAIN will have you messed up!
I thank God for the gift of wisdom that I allowed me to open my eyes to what I was doing. God showed me that I couldn’t run from the PAIN going on inside of me. God opened my eyes to see that my body ran but my heart and mind was carrying the hurt along with me. In other words, my heart and mind was stuck in PAIN. God showed me that I was carrying PAIN to a new place in order to create MORE PAIN. And before long, my entire life was in a mess. I was a mess. My heart was a mess. My thoughts were a mess. All of me was just hurtful. I have always heard people say, “You can run but you can’t hide.” Well, allow me to tell you what this means to me. Yes, you can run from PAIN but if the PAIN is inside of you, you can’t hide from yourself! Your PAIN is going to come out sooner or later and it will come out in new beginnings you try to develop. Then, you will have more PAIN!
Until you face all that junk that you have going on inside you, new beginnings are bound to fail terribly. Until you face what is really eating at the core of you, misery will be your best friend. Until you acknowledge that you have to stop running from PAIN and confront it, you will never truly be happy. Stop running from the PAIN your heart and mind is in. If you continue to run, it will only grow. Call out to Jesus right where you are. Jesus wants us to be able to confront that pain we keep holding onto so we can experience complete healing. In one of Joyce Meyer’s devotions, “Don’t Hide from Confrontation”, she wrote about Moses who, at forty years old, did something wrong. The Lord had a destiny for Moses. Moses was supposed to face Pharoah but instead, he fled and the Bible says he “went to live in Midian” (Exodus 2:15 NIV). So in other words, Moses ran! For the next forty years, Moses lived his life in a stagnant way. God had to step in and pull some things out of Moses before he could go back as a leader to the Israelites. With that being said, God can work those PAINFUL things out of you that hinders you from deliverance. Jesus will transform and bless you right in the midst of your PAIN. Be Blessed. –S.L.M.