WHEN I LOOK BACK OVER MY LIFE

When I look back over my life, when I think of all of the mistakes, when I think of all of the failures….sometimes, I develop a huge regret. If only I had been wiser and more patient, perhaps I could be further in life rather than where I am now. If only I had believed actions and not lies, perhaps the man who is meant to be my husband would be here now. If only I would have allowed the church to get inside of me and not just attend, perhaps living life the right way would have grabbed a hold of me sooner. If only I had held tight to my moral values, my children would have the same father in the home right now. I think of this at times and I feel regret slip up on me. But then I can hear God telling me that there is a reason why I have gone through so much. There is a reason behind all of the mistakes and failures I have encountered in my past. There is a reason for me being a fool for men. All of it….every last bit of my past….there is a reason behind it. Then I can hear God bringing to my mind the power of my testimonies rather it is written or expressed verbally. I can hear Him reminding me that my testimonies may help another woman who has lost her way in life. It can help the woman who is being cheated on and emotionally or physically abused in a relationship or marriage. It can help the single parent who feels like she isn’t worthy because her kids don’t have the same father.  I can hear Him telling me not to regret anything I have gone through because all that I went through has made me the strong woman I am today. Even today, I am still going through some things. But because I am stronger and wiser, I know how to handle things better. And soon, what I am going through now will be another testimony for somebody else. I can hear God telling me that now. God is simply amazing and if it were not for His loving mercy and grace, I wouldn’t be writing right now. Maybe I am one of the ones who is just meant go through so I can bring another one through. Yes I have been naïve, lied to, cheated on, backstabbed, physically/emotionally abused and heartbroken beyond what I thought could be repaired. Some of this was self-inflicted and some were beyond my control. BUT GOD! I don’t mind telling my testimonies. Just as long God gives me breath, I will continue to help others. The SAME GOD that brought me through, can bring anybody through. The SAME GOD who never left me will never leave another who is going through. The SAME GOD who turned many of my messes into victories can also turn somebody else’s mess into a victory.  –S.L.M.

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2 thoughts on “WHEN I LOOK BACK OVER MY LIFE

  1. My pastor once reminded me…if I had not gone through all the experiences (my regrets and failures), I would not be the person I am today. Your experiences have molded you to be a strong woman of faith who is witnessing with confidence and courage! Thank you for sharing your walk of faith!

    Liked by 1 person

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