My mate and I had a very interesting conversation this morning about “MEN BEING IN THE DOGHOUSE.” And I am so guilty of using this term! There are probably many men who feel like everything they do or say lands them in trouble with their wives or girlfriends. Well, it is a two way street because women can sometimes feel the same way. Men place women in the doghouse, too.We live in a world where a majority of couples want to have it their way. When it gets like this, the battle is on! Then one individual decides to be the mature one and walk away while the other decides to give the “silent” treatment or pop off with some kind of “unruly” behavior. This doesn’t get the relationship anywhere! Now I must admit, sending someone to the “doghouse” every now and then may be a good thing. It may be a good thing when it comes to both parties taking a breather just to think things through before horrible words are spoken and horrific actions are taken. But the sun should never go down with both parties still being angry with one another. In many cases, individuals are simply stubborn and don’t want to do that; and in cases like these, relationships just don’t survive. If they do, the bad days outweigh the good days.
In relationships, it is important to acknowledge that both we are all adults. Understanding, respect and trust must live in relationships and marriages at the highest level. Understanding involves communication on a consistent basis so that misunderstanding has no home in the relationship. Respect is accepting who others are without any intent to disrespect them. Trust is giving your mate your heart and your best and having faith that he or she will not give you a reason to distrust them. Although many couples have a lot in common, no two people are the same. Sally might like to spend her “me” time with Bob; but Bob may like spending his “me” time with himself. Does this signify that Bob doesn’t love Sally? Of course not. Now, if it is consistent, then perhaps Bob and Sally need to have a “Come to Jesus” meeting. But in most cases, this is just two people who have a slightly different way of doing things. There is no reason for Sally to become unruly towards Bob simply because of “me” time. Everyone needs it. Some women can become too needy and too emotional. I know this because I have met several women like this. I use to be one myself. Being too needy and too emotional can cause alot insecurity in relationships. If Sally is too needy and too emotional and Bob doesn’t dance to her tune, she will send him to the doghouse when it actually Sally that needs to go!
I don’t know everything but from my experience, I have learned that a lot of men love differently than women. And some of these men don’t see things like women do. Women and men are different! Before committing to any relationship, individuals should consider this important factor. Learning your mate, knowing your mate and trusting your mate is important! Maturity is important! Understanding, respect and trust are important! With all of these in action, NO ONE SHOULD BE IN THE DOGHOUSE! God wants us to have peace in our relationships and marriages…not all of this other junk. THE DOGHOUSE break up some of the most beautiful things if we become too immature to see it.
Ephesians 4:26 – Do not let the sun go down on your wrath. Instead of letting anger build up, we should get rid of it. One who “clams up” violates this part of the passage. He may not lash out to hurt others, but neither does he work constructively to eliminate the cause of his anger. He just lets it build up.