It touches my heart when I see fathers spending time with their sons and daughters. I see them picking up their little ones from daycare. I see them attempting to shop in the stores with their little ones. It makes my heart smile but at the same time my heart aches because I don’t have that right now. The only parent my children have is me. I am the one dropping off and picking up from daycare. I am the one shopping with them and trying to keep them acting civilized. I am the one who is on a budget because I have to make sure their needs are met first. It gets so hard. Some days positivity walks out of the door. Some days I just cry. Even at night I long for a companion to hold me and tell me its okay. So I guess to sum things up, I long for a helpmate – not a part-time help mate but a lifetime helpmate. I can hear God telling me that my time is coming; right now is not the time. So I have to perservere. The only reliable help I have is God. He provides in ways I never imagined. I am reminded that although it hurts at times, God is with me. When I go to the daycare, He is with me. When I am shopping, He is with me. When the kids are in an uproar and my strength as a woman fails, He is with me. At night when I long for that earthly companion, He is with me. As a single parent, I will continue to perservere. I may still cry, my heart may ache and I may just want to scream into a pillow….but I will perservere. God is preparing my help mate just as He is preparing me. I have faith that the man God has for me is on the way. One day, He will bring us together as one.
Stacy L. Montgomery